Let's talk about sex during pregnancy

Alright, guys — let’s talk about something that doesn’t get talked about enough: sex during pregnancy.

It’s one of those topics that’s surrounded by confusion, myths, and a bit of nervous laughter. You might be wondering: “Is it safe? Will the baby know? Should we even be doing this?”

Here’s the truth — in most healthy pregnancies, sex is totally fine. In fact, it can actually bring you and your partner closer during a time when everything else feels like it’s changing by the minute. But there are a few things every dad-to-be should keep in mind.

1. Safety Comes First

Before anything else, check in with your partner — and her doctor if needed. Some pregnancies come with specific restrictions (like placenta previa, early contractions, or unexplained bleeding), and in those cases, sex might be off-limits for a while.

Also be prepared for the fact that sexuality can change for quite some time. In my wife’s case, for example, there were some issues during pregnancy, and sex simply wasn’t possible for several months. Even after the birth, the body needs time to heal before intimacy can feel natural again. In times like these, what’s most needed from us dads is patience and understanding.

If that happens, don’t take it personally. This isn’t about you — it’s about keeping mom and baby safe.

2. Comfort Is the New Sexy

As your partner’s body changes, comfort becomes the main priority. What felt good before might not work anymore — and that’s okay. Be patient, experiment together, and talk about what feels right.

Positions where your partner is on top or lying on her side often work best, since they take pressure off her belly. The spooning position, for example, allows for closeness and control over depth and movement — gentle, intimate, and relaxing.

Avoid positions where she’s lying flat on her back, especially in the later months, as the weight of the baby can press on major blood vessels and cause discomfort or dizziness.

Most importantly, let communication guide you. Ask what feels okay, move slowly, and pay attention to her body’s signals. Comfort, safety, and connection matter much more than anything else right now.

3. Intimacy Isn’t Always About Sex

Pregnancy can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Some days, your partner just won’t be in the mood — and that’s completely normal.

When your partner’s body starts to change, she might not feel as attractive as she used to. Maybe her milk starts to leak, or she can’t shave or take care of herself the way she did before because of her growing belly. This is the time to be understanding and show her that you’re there for her. The last thing she needs right now is a partner saying, “You’ve really let yourself go!”

What she’ll appreciate most is kindness, affection, and understanding. Hold her hand, give her a back rub, tell her she’s beautiful. Sometimes, those small things are far more intimate than anything else.

4. You’re Allowed to Have Feelings Too

Let’s be honest — pregnancy changes things for us guys as well. A lot of men don’t really talk about it, but the worry is pretty common: “What if I hurt the baby?” That thought alone can really mess with your head. The idea of being intimate while your partner is pregnant can feel strange at first — and that’s completely normal.

The good news is that in most cases, sex during pregnancy is totally safe. The baby is well protected by the amniotic sac, the fluid, and the uterus. You can’t “hurt” the baby by having sex. Of course, if your partner feels pain, experiences bleeding, or if the doctor advises against it, you should absolutely respect that and take a break.

The most important thing is to talk about how you both feel. Be honest if you’re nervous or unsure — your partner will likely appreciate your openness. Just talking about it can take a lot of pressure off.

And remember: intimacy isn’t only about sex. Especially during pregnancy, closeness can come in many forms — cuddling, gentle touch, shared quiet moments. If you approach her with love and patience, you’ll find that your connection can actually grow even stronger.

5. Keep the Connection Alive

Even though things are changing, try to keep the connection between you and your partner strong — and don’t be afraid to explore new ways of being close. Right now, you still have some space and energy to do so. Once the baby arrives, finding time just for the two of you becomes a lot harder.

That doesn’t necessarily mean more sex — it means finding ways to stay connected emotionally and physically. Maybe that’s through slow mornings together, cooking as a team, going in a nice restaurant, giving each other a massage, or simply cuddling on the couch while talking about your day. Intimacy is built in those small, shared moments just as much as in the bedroom.

If you both feel comfortable, you can also try gentle variations of what already feels good for you — experiment, laugh together, and don’t take it too seriously. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s maintaining closeness, trust, and a sense of partnership through all the changes that pregnancy brings.

Sex during pregnancy might not look like it used to — but it can still be great. Slower, more connected, and sometimes surprisingly passionate. Think of this time as a new chapter, not a pause button. The more open and caring you are now, the stronger your relationship will be when the baby arrives.

The Bottom Line

Sex during pregnancy isn’t something to be afraid of — it’s something to approach with love, curiosity, and respect. Stay in tune with your partner, talk openly, and remember: this journey is something you’re sharing together.

Have fun :)

Rafael